Could you please help me with my English composition?

Hi Amy, Great job! I would start the letter with a compliment such as: My child enjoys your show and I find it very educational for her to watch. (Make it your first sentence). I would leave out your question "Don't you think......." Also "I look forward to hearing (not hear) from you. I would end it with "Sincerely" instead of "Yours faithfully" because if the network continued to show inappropriate commercials you wouldn't remain faithful.