Today is a nother sad day today is........?

today is my dead finance birthday and well it is sad because he would only be 23 years old today and i miss him and need him and i really don't know what i am doing anymore i have done so much crap since his death to try to forget it and it does not work.. and yesterday my bff gave me a red rose from heaven is what the card said .. then people around here that i like are jerks to me then i have my son to take care of now and i don't know what i am going to do i need help with my son and with everything else i am so confused in my life right now i don't know what to do at all...........